The role of men in Islam: Some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

                   The role of men in Islam: some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

 

Introduction

 

While there have always been cultural differences between groups, a certain amount of uniformity existed amongst all, particularly when it comes to the biological and social functions of men and women. Men would be deemed the de facto head of the households, and women would carry responsibilities within the family.

 

This has certainly changed, not only in the West, but increasingly around the world. The reasons and general implications of these changes are beyond the scope of this presentation, nonetheless it is prudent to address some commonly asked questions from an Islamic perspective. I am cognizant that the following views are debatable, and I welcome respectful dialogue. I would also like to point out that this article does not endorse any actions or attitudes that bring forth familial and social disasters.

(1) Masculine leadership

The need for organization is universally recognized. In fact, we have countless examples of it in nature. Bees are organized into Queens, workers and drones. The beehive itself is set up to maximize productivity and storage. The Qur’an (16:68) actually makes a reference to their cognitive abilities and their organizational activity, referring to it as products of Divine inspiration.

 

In a similar fashion, the Qur’an has mentioned what a healthy structure is supposed to look like:

“The Men are responsible (Qawwamoona ‘alaa)  for the maintenance of (their) ladies: in that God has consistently delivered those (abilities) over (the same to) others, and in that they (the men) spend of their means (amwaalihim)... “Q 4:34)

 

The above text mentions responsibilities and places emphasis on financial arrangements. These two items certainly translate into different things for different people, and admittedly can vary from era to age. The term Qawaamoon carries the meaning of holding up, on a regular basis, a healthy establishment.

 

This can take the form of protection, advice, and guidance from a more rational basis. In terms of financial arrangements, ultimately this a guarantee of relative security, rather than a whimsical or temporary relationship.

(2) Polygamy

(1 

 

Undoubtedly a sensitive topic for women, Islam has allowed it, as illustrated in the following text:

“So marry women of your choosing: two, three or four, yet if you fear inability to be just, then one (waahidah), or from malakat aymaanukum,(ft.1)  that is most suitable to prevent injustice” ( Q 4:3).

 

A reading of the context reveals that the idea is simply a form of protection for those who are isolated, alone, without families or familiar support (al yataamaa). The Qur’an has not been silent on social needs, this is a faith which recognizes the realities of the world.

 

(3)    Is there any physical disciplining allowed in Islam?  

 

 

This topic deserves a great deal of analysis, as there are many misconceptions on this. The Qur’an summarizes the wife’s duty as “guarding what God would have them guard..” which is understood to include family wealth, private information as well as (most importantly) intimate relations. It says further that when there is risk of the above being violated, the husband is to (a) inform her tactfully (fa’idhoo-hunna),  (b) sleep separately ( ihjurununna fil madaaji’i) , and (c)  take a physical step (idribuhunna).

 

The “physical step” has been given in the Prophetic Sunnah as NOT domestic abuse, but rather showing displeasure by using- for an example- a tooth brush (Miswak). Moreover, we are told directly in the hadeeth literature (saheeh Muslim 2328) that Prophet Muhammad never hit a woman.

 

Moreover, the term idrib has a plethora of alternative meanings, both in the Qur’an itself as well as usages in Arabic, including to leave, to propose/explain (ft.2) . This has led many to suggest that the meaning is simply for the man to depart from the relationship in which the woman has showed disrespect of the basic duties (Nushooz).

 

Most have understood a-c above as the sequence of steps to take to resolve the negative situation, while the great jurist Imam Abu Hanifa (d. 767 C.E.) has taken the above as choices, rather than sequential steps.

 

There is some guidance on this aspect from the traditions of the Prophet that relate to other matters. He has categorically stated that the faces should not be struck, and that believers are not to bring harm to each other. Thus, putting all of this together, it seems to be suggesting that in those times that harmony is needed, that the healthy, mature husband is to take action to safeguard the family, to use an analogy, to push a person out of the way of an incoming vehicle, as a means to save their life.

 

This should never translate into domestic violence, abuse or harm of any type, as such would be inconsistent with Islamic values.

(4)    Dress

 

Men and women are both expected to dress with decorum and modestly in public. The precise clothing varies according to personal and cultural/environmental tastes. For more details, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Just what is allowed and not allowed in Islam? Addressing some commonly asked questions

at this link

 

(5)    Equality between men and women

 

 

The Qur’an certainly says that there are ways in which men and women are different, including that of physical strength. This is the typical pattern in human beings. 

However, in the most important areas, we clearly see a spiritual equality, in the sense that both genders are equal in the sight of Allah. The Qur’an says “VERILY, for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all truly devout men and truly devout women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves [before God], and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for [all of] them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward.” (Q 33:35 Muhammad Asad translation)

 

The Qur’an also states that both have a chance of paradise of hellfire, contingent upon their thinking process and actions ( Q 33:73).

Footnotes

(1) The concept of milk-ul-yameen has traditionally been understood as sexual slavery: we reject that assertion, in light of Quranic evidence, for which, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Does Islam sanction slavery?  see link here

(2) For other Quranic examples, see 4:101, 3:156, 14:24, 25 and other verses.

Does Islam sanction slavery?

Introduction

There are a number of issues that are raised by detractors and sincere questioners alike, among them being the institution of slavery, in particular sex slavery. In recent years, the emergence of ISIS and BOKO HARAM in Nigeria  ( whose leadership actually declared themselves loyal to ISIS), and their actions of kidnapping  girls and reportedly selling them on the open market has led to this particular question being asked once again raised in the world stage.

The answers that are typically given are either incorrect, over-simplified, or simply misrepresented, without depth both theologically and historically.

This is understandable when we consider that as a term, slavery has been universally outlawed and not practiced on the world stage for a long time, as well as a natural aversion to images of oppression that comes from the areas where these activities are taking place.

ISIS themselves presented a long document defending their taking Yazidi and Shiite  girls as slaves, replete with references to Islamic texts. As if this was not bad enough, in more recent times migrants from a number of African countries, seeking to work in Europe, have been captured in war-torn Libya by groups who have been filmed beating, torturing, extorting for ransom and actually selling as slaves has rightly caused an outrage.

With these realities in mind, let us look at the Islamic texts and history.


Slavery as a social institution during Prophet Muhammad's time

It is undeniable that for a good portion of human history, slavery in some forms has existed. It did exist in Arabia in the time of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.  Slavery, in much of the world's history, would happen in a number of ways, such as  (1) Enemies captured during conflict. (2) Debts. (3) As punishment for certain crimes.

It is also to be noted that the Quranic revelation acknowledged the presence of this institute, and sought to deal with it in a number of ways.

Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakah; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.(Q 2:177, Saheeh International translation).

There are other verses which has a similar message of freeing of slaves as an expiation for certain incorrect actions(Ft.1), but in the above verse we see the emancipation of slaves as a demonstration of virtue. Thus, the Prophet (Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and the early Muslims were known to purchase slaves from their owners in order to free them.

In the Prophet's final address, he says "feed and clothe them (your slaves) as you feed and clothe yourselves".

The words of the above ahadeeth, if practiced, actually put an end to slavery practically.

We do not claim that this actually happened on a massive scale after the Prophet's death. Indeed, it is our view that many of the Islamic principles enshrined in the Qur'an and Prophetic tradition were in fact never fully crystallized(2), nonetheless the point is that throughout the Qur'an itself, we find that it preaches a religion that seeks to remove harm and oppression, and it is this reason that it had such wide appeal(3). 

Slavery in Muslim history

As an institution, slavery was not eliminated, and would occur largely in the ways described in the introduction, in particular through the process of war and debt. Yet, this institution did not prevent social advancement. Slaves actually became the rulers in places such as Egypt and India.

One narration attributed to the Prophet states "If a maimed slave is appointed leader, and he conducts your affairs according to the Book of Allah, obey him.( Saheeh Muslim, 20:4533).

Slavery in Muslim jurisprudence (Fiqh)

There are a number of rules associated with slavery. Indeed, the discussions are extremely lengthy, and often uses examples that are related to owning and regulating slaves.

Slaves could negotiate their way to freedom by agreeing upon a contract, in which after payment, he was freed. A woman who gives birth to the child of the master( known as Umm Al Walad)  is automatically freed, even hitting a slave could win the latter's freedom, according to some authorities.

Slaves themselves, according to the jurists, had almost the same rights as the free. One rather pointed 
example is that of marriage. Maliki jurisprudence allows for a slave to have four wives, whereas other madhaahib allowed only two.

This sort of debate shows us that the lives of slaves in Muslim control was nothing like the chattel slavery of the Western hemisphere, to which we are so accustomed to knowing about.


Sex slavery

It is our view that this aspect is the most misunderstood aspect of this topic, in part because of the presence of the Arabic term in the Qur'an known as  Milk-ul-Yameen, which is typically translated into English  as "right hand possessed" or even "handmaid". Even among Muslims whose first language is Arabic, this term is understood to reference a woman captured and sold to a buyer.

It is sometimes said that the Prophet himself had a harem (Arabic "Hareem"), filled with captured women, to serve him at his whims. The Prophet, upon whom be peace and blessings, certainly had wives, but he lived in an extremely humble manner, so much so that the Qur'an itself mentions his wives complaining about this, and they are given a choice to divorce the Prophet or to stay with him in such a living situation ( Q 33: 28-29).

Linguistically, Milk Ul Yameen {Malakat Aymaanakum often in the Quranic phraseology} refers to those whose maintenance and livelihood are largely dependent upon one person. Perhaps a person who does not have family support, because of being a foreigner in a strange land, or financial hardships, or other reasons. Such a person in such a situation needs a solution to their problems.

The Qur'an uses the term in both intimate and non intimate contexts. It appears in the context of working in a household ( 24:58 and 33:55- the latter speaking of malakat aymaanahunna, for women) .

It seems to be a sort of relationship that is not socially seen as the same level as that of a wife, yet treated as an equal relationship in the Qur'an itself ( 4:3, 24, 25 23:6, and other places).

So, it should be seen that Milk Ul Yameen is not a slave, at least not as conceptualized according to the Qur'an, but rather a relationship that is similar to the marriage relationship.

Islam does not teach or allow rape, murder, kidnapping, exploitation and mistreatment of others. Indeed, even if one were to concede that Milk ul yameen meant a slave, the Qur'an itself says Milkulyameen is to be treated well ( Q 4:36) . One other text even says that female and male slaves alike should be sought out as marriage partners if they are found to have righteous character ( 24:32).

If people indeed transgress bounds and commit crimes against other human beings, they will be accountable before Allah for that.

Islam is a faith that has a very realistic approach to life and the issues one encounters therein. It is nice to give charity occasionally to an orphan or a widow, but the best solution is the long-term or permanent solution. Solutions are not only financial, but they also are found within emotional, physical, and family support. The Quranic term Milk Ul Yameen is one of those solutions, but in no way should it be mistaken for slavery.


Endnotes
[1] Freeing of slaves as an expiation for certain wrong acts are found in many places in the Qur'an, such as 5:89, 24:33, 58:3 and 90:13. With regards to Q 2:177, I think another application for the term "liberation of one in bondage"(Fir Riqaab) is funding an education.

[2] One important example is that of Shuraa, or consultation as necessary for governing. The Qur'an (42:38) has this as next to religious rituals, yet while we have understood the ritual of Salaah and spending in charity, yet, unfortunately, much of our history has been filled with dictators, some of whom even saw themselves as "God's shadow on Earth".

[3] Slaves counted as among the earliest followers of the Prophet, but more importantly is that the Islamic message of worship of God and brotherhood of man, as well as universal justice. The Qur'an  even says that it is necessary to stand for justice, even if it runs counter to family ( 4:135)

Contemplating Islamic principles: Marriage, love and family ties in today's world

Introduction

We often say that "Islam is the answer", that all of  the contents of the Qur'an and the Sunnah have all we need for guidance, even though the scripture and the Prophet to whom it was revealed, upon whom we pray for God's choicest of blessings and peace, was sent forth fourteen centuries ago, in the Arabian peninsula.

Yet, this assertion is under constant scrutiny. It is questioned, even by some believing, practicing Muslims.There are a number of examples from the Islamic texts, terms and concepts, particularly from the realm of social relations, that are cited, be it Jizyah, Dhihaar{Ft.#1}, AhlidhDhimmah, and so forth. Should these type of concepts be revived in a modern, complex and diverse world? If so, in what fashion? If these things should be consigned to the past, would that not deny the assertion that Islam has all the answers? Would it not show Islam to be relevant only to a particular moment in the past?

To answer this question, we would like to examine the example of male-female relations.


Relations between men and women a  foundation for healthy life

This statement needs no textual evidence to back it up. Adults know this instinctively. Humans seek out the companionship of the opposite sex, be it through Halaal or Haraam means. If unsuccessful, that failure can lead to many problems, creating bitterness that can eventually lead even to things such as suicide and murder, as we recently seen with Elliot Rodger, a young man who, due to his failures with women, went on a rampage in Santa Barbara, California , killing seven people as well as himself.

In the time of the Prophet, Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam, there were men who swore off women. One says he will fast continously, and another says he will even undergo castration, that way there is no distractions and they can simply devote their time to worship.The Prophet responds to this by saying "I fast and I break fast [meaning that he doesn't continously fast], and I marry women." He says " Marriage is my Sunnah, and whosoever abandons my Sunnah is not of me." [ Bukhari, 62:1, narrated by Anas ibn Malik]


Searching for love

Worldwide people have grown up watching movies and hearing about 'soulmates', seeking out 'love'{ft.2}. The modern world's method is for dating to take place, the couple go out for a couple years, discover is they are indeed compatible in all areas, 'fall in love' and marry. Admittedly the emotional tie is the norm. There is no objection, either religious, moral or legal, to wanting to love and be loved. But we have to admit, Islam - God's Deen for the benefit and health of humanity, is actually very realistic. What we mean by this is that while the rhetoric of love is very appealing, this pattern of repeated relationships people go through, having the ups and downs of emotional attachments even when unmarried, brings forth constant instability. Countless problems are created because of this instability, a pattern that repeats itself so much that a person, even a 'catch'- may never move forward towards other important life areas.


Looking at some of the options available 

Islam does not lend support to sexual relations, except in a certain context, i.e. the marriage context. Even in that, Islamically [as per the Sunnah], marriage is very easy. Agreement [Qubool] between the parties, a gift to symbolize the man's responsibility in this serious manner [Mahr or dowry], a ceremony [Ft.3], the agreement being witnessed by a minumum of two witnesses.Forced relationships are Haraam.

Society may have certain expectations that are unrealistic or unreachable for certain peoples. Moreover, there are also traditional demands about having spouses from the same race or social status, village, family or tribe etc, leading to extreme stress and late marriage, if at all.

The Qur'an has this to say, as an example of the options available. The quoted translation is from Saheeh International.

And whoever among you cannot [find] the means to marry free, believing women, then [he may marry] from those whom your right hands possess of believing slave girls. And Allah is most knowing about your faith. You [believers] are of one another. So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation according to what is acceptable. [They should be] chaste, neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers... 4:25

To put it in another way, if the normal avenue of marriage is unavailable for a man, he should expand his field of potential mates to include those whom he would not usually seek out. Why not seek out, or at least be open to, a woman who already has children? Or a widow, as there are many women who have been widowed as a result of the war in Syria and Iraq.

Islam repeatedly connects solving social problems with the religious life. A woman struggling, for whatever reason, does not need limited charity. Charity, although good and a religious pillar, is of a limited reach. However, a woman or a mother with children with no support will find long-term solution in being with a man who at least is willing to deliver emotional, moral, physical and of course financial support. That- in term- will see the development of love, of families melding together, of becoming attached and loving children.

We also admit that Islam allows a limited polygamy. All of these allowances from the Most Wise Creator, if done with maturity, planning, a realistic [as opposed to ideal] outlook, can bring forth more peace in neighborhoods, responsibility, less burden on governments. Men and women learning to expand their scope of care and support. In the end, that is the miracle of miracles. Community oriented and socially responsible human beings who seek to obey Allah and his Messenger.

Footnotes
[1] Dhihaar was a common divorce method in Pre-Islamic Arabia designed to maximize suffering to a woman, so that she could neither expect support from her husband nor seek out a new husband. The Qur'an [ 58:2-3] outlawed this practice.

[2] An interesting fact is that the Arabic word for love, Hubb, is from the same root as the word Habb, which means seed. The ideas interchanging within these words are obvious. From the seedling we may get a fruit producing tree, benefitting generations. The same can be said of love.

[3] In many societies the important thing is the signing of the marriage agreement ['Aqd], the ceremony only being for public consumption. Moreover, it is often the case that neither the groom nor bride are at the signing, being signed instead by representatives.