The throwaway culture: a look at contemporary thinking in light of Islamic values

 We live in a quick paced world. Videos go viral and lose interest in a fast way. One politician  can come to power (by election or violence) and abrogate the works of the previous figures with immediate effect. With almost everything, the above assertions are correct. This is what I call the throwaway culture. 

The throwaway culture has an impact on people of faith as well. It is estimated that between 20-25 percent of marriages among American Christians end in divorce. despite religious prohibitions (ft.1-2)  U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) estimates that between 30-40 percent of the food supply in the United States is actually wasted. (ft.3). 

The Qur'an mentions a very interesting analogy that is relevant to the topic of throwaway culture.  It reads "and be not like a woman who breaks into untwisted strands threads after it was strong...." (Q 16:92 Yusuf Ali translation).

وَلَا تَکُوۡنُوۡا کَالَّتِیۡ نَقَضَتۡ غَزۡلَہَا مِنۡۢ بَعۡدِ قُوَّۃٍ اَنۡکَاثًا

The context, beginning at Q 16:90, is discussing the importance of maintaining treaties and guidelines for justice and fair play. While the above Quranic sentence has been associated by the commentators with a particular Makkan woman, said to be mentally challenged, I think the sentence deserves more contemplation, particularly in this age. 

Emotional turmoil, as well as either a desire to erase the past, can bring forth someone to actually destroy what they themselves have created. The Qur'an seems to suggest that this is an incorrect move to take. It teaches us to preserve our healthy relationships (Q 2:228, 4:34-35), that we are not to waste our resources, be it food, or waste of our mental and physical abilities (Q 5:89-91, 7:31, 17:26). 

The imagery of self-destruction or the bringing down of something we have created is very frightening. Islam is all about building, about growth in all areas. May Allah guide us to build what is beneficial and not fall into destructive thinking and behaviour.

Footnotes

(1) https://sacksandsackslaw.com/religious-demographics-divorce-united-states/

(2) The New Testament forbids divorce in all cases except adultery (Matt.5:32, 19:9).

(3) https://www.usda.gov/about-food/food-safety/food-loss-and-waste/food-waste-faqs

The Divine and the Mundane: Scriptural life lessons

 Introduction

The Qur’an is a scripture of great depth, nuance and wisdom. The more it is consulted, the more utility that emerges. It can take seemingly mundane, everyday situations, address it as necessary, mixing in great lessons. The classical examples are the texts of Soorah Al Hujuraat (chapter 49), which discusses topics such as etiquette and social behaviour, inserting in the midst of those Ahkam the famous text of 49:13, which tells us the reason behind the existence of varying peoples and tribes, a verse which removes destructive notions such as racism. The other classical example is in Soorat An Noor (chapter 24), which deals with some legal prescriptions, dress code and the like, and inserts therein the very profound Ayatun Noor, the verse of Divine light (24:35).

Much of the following discourse centers around revelation given to the Prophet Muhammad- Sall Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that addresses his domestic life. In the midst of family issues, the Divine revelation addresses these issues and places important lessons there. 

The Prophet cannot make everyone happy all of the time, even his own wives.

The sixty-sixth chapter of the Qur’an begins with Allah subhaanahu wa ta’alaa telling Muhammad   “O Prophet, why do you consistently forbid (harrima) what Allah has made lawful for you? Do you seek to please your wives? Yet, Allah is intense in granting forgiveness and mercy. Allah has sanctioned for you the expiation of your oath, Allah is your protector, and He is the All Knowing, The all-wise” (Q 66:1-2)

 

یٰۤاَیُّہَا النَّبِیُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَاۤ اَحَلَّ اللّٰہُ لَکَ ۚ تَبۡتَغِیۡ مَرۡضَاتَ اَزۡوَاجِکَ ؕ وَاللّٰہُ غَفُوۡرٌ رَّحِیۡمٌ

قَدۡ فَرَضَ اللّٰہُ لَکُمۡ تَحِلَّۃَ اَیۡمَانِکُمۡ ۚ وَاللّٰہُ مَوۡلٰٮکُمۡ ۚ وَہُوَ الۡعَلِیۡمُ الۡحَکِیۡمُ

Prophet Muhammad, upon whom be peace and blessings, was God’s messenger, the prophet for all humanity, and of course leader within his own society. As such, he has great burdens and responsibilities. The tafseer literature is filled with accounts that seek to explain these verses, to connect them to specific incidents. The historicity of these accounts are disputed, and even if the examples cited in the tafseer literature is correct, ultimately the take-away is clearly presented: Muhammad was a congenial person, sympathetic and kind, and had a habit of self-denial and trying to keep people happy  that ultimately got in the way of his own life and therefore his abilities to function as a leader for society and a prophet of God. 

The Prophet was dismissed by his opponents as “an ear”. The exegete Muhammad Ash-Shawkani understood this to mean that people would assert that the Prophet would “listen to all, and having no ability to distinguish between truth and falsehood”. (Fat-hul Qadeer, Kuwait, wazeeratul Awqaaf, 1980 edition). This shows us that his nature was to give an ear, to try to make everyone happy, especially his wives, even if their demands were unreasonable or fueled by misplaced emotions.  God tells the Prophet that he is to drop this habit of his. One of the accounts given asserts that he (peace be upon him) had promised to stop consuming honey, as a way to keep his wives happy.  While there is much more to that account (assuming its true), we are to understand that God knows what he is doing by allowing something and forbidding something else. We are not going to be held to account by Allah on an issue as small as honey consumption.

The Prophet, and indeed men in general, are to obey Allah, and if his wives are not interested in that, in making his role and life easier, God can most certainly remove such women in exchange for those who will indeed be better, regardless of their previous status (Q 66:5). The job of the Prophet, and indeed of believers in general, is to guide their flock, by saving them from “ a fire fueled by people and stones” (Q 66:6).

This is a big picture role, and frankly cannot be ignored by the presence of petty, limited interests- itself a product of immature thinking! 

Light 

In the midst of this discourse, we are told how the people of paradise, themselves surrounded by light, invoke (i.e. in du’aa) “Our Lord, Complete for us our light, and bestow on us forgiveness, Indeed, you are powerful over all things.” ( Q 66:8).

The placement of this clause suggests that growth is still attainable, the ability to see the bigger picture is still possible, at all stages of life, when faith and efforts are present. We can understand light to mean the tools by which to see the bigger picture and to stay focused on that.

In polemics, I have noticed that Christian apologists, in their criticisms of Islam, almost never address the religious content of the Qur’an and Sunnah, rather, they focus on attacking the Prophet’s character himself. They will distort and misrepresent reports about him to paint an ugly picture of him. This is an example of not looking at the bigger picture. Moreover, they are guided by unhealthy emotions and will advocate the same from their followers. 

Having light is important for all parties to have, particularly in the marriage relationship. If light is drowned out in the darkness of negative emotions, it presents a stagnation that ultimately can lead to hell. Islam is a great source of stability and safety, whereas impulses can lead to destruction. 

Learning from women 

The text gives an example of the wives of Prophets Noah and Lot (Nuuh and Luut, ‘alayhimas salaam) who were not upon the same foundation  their husbands were upon. The presence of these Prophets in the Soorah is poignant, in that these were prophets who were more clearly identified as doing intense actions to save their societies from destruction. Unfortunately, their wives had behavior and thinking patterns that reflected the misguidance of mainstream society, and thus, they-along with everyone else- experienced the fires of destruction (Q 66:10).

The husbands obviously made efforts to save their families, but it is up to each individual to make their efforts, to be committed to Islam and avoid the misguidance of kufr.

The Soorah(vv.11-12) gives another contrast, the believing wife of the Pharaoh, and Mary. Their faith allowed them to see the Noor, the big picture, and thus have salvation, not only for themselves, but ultimately to function as examples to humanity.

Returning to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), it seems that at times they would give such headaches that he is told by God that if they (the wives) want to be released from the relationship, he would (Q 33:28). Yet, the choice is also outlined to them as follows:

“ And if you desire God and his messenger, and the ultimate abode, God has prepared for those who strive for Ihsaan a magnificent reward” ( Q 33:29).

Ihsaan is that next level in one’s spiritual evolution. What is interesting about this text is that the Prophet’s wives (known as “mothers of believers” Ummahaat al mu’mineen) became known as highly spiritual people. Sayyidah ‘A’ishaa herself is the most reliable transmitter of hadeeth. 

Conclusion

The big picture is not necessarily wealth or power. The big picture success is a strong relationship with Allah, overcoming the negative whispers of Satan, both internal and external, and peaceful existence here and in the hereafter. That is what authentic religion teaches. 

We live in a time when negative emotions are actually promoted as a good thing, where conflict is not something that needs to be resolved, but rather recorded for views online. If we want ultimate success, we have to obey Allah and follow the examples of the best of mankind.

Simply arguing for the sake of arguments, holding unnecessary grudges, will stimulate no success at all. Let us take the beautiful lessons, even in the midst of seemingly mundane incidents mentioned in scripture. 

MM: some masaa-il of marriage

 Introduction

The institution of marriage is important for social cohesion, a fact almost universally accepted. It's role in Islam on a spiritual level is given in many Quranic verses and statements of the Prophet (Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam), one of which is the famous quote "marriage is half of one's religion" ( At-Tirmidhee 3096). This subject often generates frequently asked questions (FAQs)(ft.1), so, for public benefit, they shall be addressed below.

(#1) Are there any Islamic texts which summarize the functions of the marriage relationship?

 A number of Islamic texts provide us with information on marriage. The Qur'an (Q 4:1) asserts that God created man and woman, the ideal relationship generating love, mercy, and overall satisfaction in life (Q 30:21). Similarly, it beautifully asserts that men and women are created to function as "clothing" (libaas) for each other ( Q 2:187), understood for mental, emotional, physical and indeed spiritual support. While the above texts can be seen in an emotional context, it also speaks on the importance of justice (Q 4:3) within the relationship. Admittedly, the latter quote is in the context of men vis-a-vis women (in the sense of maintaining the rights of women, not subjecting them to abuse), yet it can reasonably be said to go both ways, if we factor in Q 9:71, which asserts that both genders are "allies" of each other in terms of their spirituality and communal obligations, that such awareness and mutual assistance generates rewards from Allah in paradise (9:72).  

The Qur'an has placed this institution as something which brings forth social protections for the vulnerable as well (Q 4:3, 24:31, among other places).

(#2) How to find a suitable partner?

This is a difficult question, in light of societal and cultural expectations, which of course vary from place to place and time to time. While in the Muslim world there is family involvement (even to the extent of "arranged marriages"), for some, especially in Western environments, this could be untenable. The last two decades has seen the emergence of online dating as something that is now widely acceptable, however that can also be dangerous. 

In short, since the texts do not give us a step-by-step methodology, whatever halal (lawful) options available in our unique circumstances should be employed. Admittedly, we all have our differing comfort levels.

(#3) Can marriage occur outside of one's culture?

There are no restrictions on interracial/intercultural marriages present in the Qur'an and Sunnah. It is true that many scholars assert that a condition of marriage is comparable status (known by the technical term Kafaa'ah), but at the end of the day even that is more of some advice, rather than a ruling from the Islamic texts.

(#4) The role of Wali, and can a woman marry without his consent?

The Wali or Wakeel functions as a guardian, looking out for the best interests of the woman. Usually it is the father, brother or some other male relative, who will look for a spouse for the woman, to limit mistakes. Almost all societies-regardless of culture and religion- had this concept at some level.

Three of the four Sunni jurisprudential schools assert that the wali's consent is needed in order for the woman to get married. The Hanafi school argues that if the woman is mature and intelligent (Baalighah & Raashidah), there is no need for a wali's presence or consent. In practice, there is also a bit of a relaxed attitude on this point when the woman is a widow, divorcee, with life experiences, because it is expected that she knows what she wants and is comfortable with things. 

It is the Hanafi viewpoint which makes the most sense to this writer in a Western context, but I can also see the logic of the majority, when we consider that traditionally females marry young, without life experiences and particular expectations, as well as being more prone to misguidance and emotional manipulation. 

(#5) Should divorce be the immediate response to problems?

While divorce is legal in Islam, it should not be the immediate reply to relationship issues. Indeed, the Qur'an itself asserts that efforts are to be made- with an arbiter from each side- to solve the issues (Q 4:35). Emotions play a great hand in relationships of this nature, which is why expressions of talaq (divorce) are considered invalid when given during a woman's menstruation period(ft.#2)

(#6) Can a woman initiate divorce in Islam?

Within certain limits a woman can set forth a request for divorce, and-in summary- legitimate reasons include abandonment of the religion, outright abuse, gross neglect. The process of khul' would take place, in which a woman simply returns the dowry given to her husband. There is also, of course, divorce by mutual agreement.

(#7) Does a man have a veto power insofar as divorce?

The husband has more authority insofar as issues of divorce are concerned. Thus, it is relatively easy for a man to initiate divorce and is not necessarily obligated to grant divorce. While it can be argued this is patriarchy in action, I would say that it is a means to limit destruction and chaos based on emotion. 

Undoubtedly emotional mistakes can be made by both genders; however, men are not prone to the same sort of emotional output (and the consequences thereof) women experience. 

Moreover, it cannot be ignored that the Qur'an puts financial support in the field of the man, and that as a consequence exercise more authority than women. (Q 4:34). Under those circumstances, it would be natural for man to have a sort of (limited) veto power. Of course, in situations where the man is unreasonable, the woman can go to the Qadi (judge, divorce court in Muslim nation) or relevant body to, in a sense, force a divorce, however that would have to be for extreme circumstances. 

(#8) What does reconciliation look like?

Quite simply, even if a couple agree on a divorce, it can be revoked anytime within 4 months of its pronouncement by reuniting (jimaa').  There is a recognition that relationship dynamics are often fluid, emotions give way to intelligence and vice-versa. While I don't intend to go into much detail here (and there are details in the Qur'an itself), the short end of it is that there is more room for reconciliation than what is often believed. 

(#9) Are divorce decrees issued by non-Muslim courts valid?

This is a very complex question, made even more complicated by the fact that for many Muslim nations, a divorce decree from a non-Muslim country is not even considered, causing significant legal confusion for all involved parties(ft.3). 

Our view, in light of the fact that Imams and mosques in the West have no authority to impose decisions, nor ability to investigate properly the claims made by disputing couples, is that the court, in non-Muslim nations, with legal mechanisms, signed documents in the presence of witnesses, etc. overall fulfills the requirements given within the Islamic tradition. Of course, this may not always be the case, keeping in mind that the Islamic system has built-in devices meant to encourage reconciliation and stability.

(#10) Dowry

The dowry (mahr) is whatever is agreed to by the parties. It can even be symbolic. 

(#11) Wedding ceremony (Nikaah).

The normative fashion is that a minimum of two witnesses are required, a ceremony in which the parties are reminded of their responsibilities, and a clear acceptance of those responsibilities.  The Hanbali school has within it a view that even witnesses are not required, only publicizing the relationship is required (i'laan in technical jargon).

In our view, the normative fashion for nikaah is best, as it has more clarity and removes ambiguity. The cultural aspects of weddings vary from place to community, and while there are obvious financial difficulties in those, the religious aspects are very easy, and it is important to keep to the Prophetic guidance to make marriage easy.

Footnotes

(1) The term Masaa-il (sing, Mas-alah) is used for questions requiring an Islamic reply. Often books of Fiqh are replete with this FAQs format.

(2) The modern world tends to ignore and downplay the role of emotions, particularly in women, leading to unnecessary destruction of relationships. A Stanford Medicine Magazine article articulates very well that the minds of males and females have signifigant differences, for which see How men's and women's brains are different | Stanford Medicine

(3) A common situation is when a woman divorced in the US Legal system wants to either remarry or in some way totally break herself from the previous life, facing difficulties in her country of origin.  

 

REAL LIFE : ISLAMIC GUIDANCE ON TROUBLING ISSUES

 Introduction

Anyone familiar with Islam as an intellectual tradition will at some point come across collections of fataawa (sing.fatwa), in which the Mufti will provide answers to queries on issues ranging from rituals to business laws. Many works of this genre have survived for hundreds of years, and still provides insights to contemporary readers, such as the famous multi-volume Majmoo' al fataawa, a collection of the opinions of Ibn Taymiyyah  ( d.1328). 

Our intention here is not to provide fataawa, but rather to share succinct suggestions, based upon Islamic texts, on a variety of important issues that are faced by Muslims, in particular in the West Coast region of the United States. Much of the points below are equally relevant for non-Muslims. We are confident that the issues highlighted below, accompanied by answers as based on deen, will prove to be helpful in having a healthy and balanced life.

Intoxicants

The West Coast generally has a well-known liberal culture, differing in many ways not only from other nations, but regions in the country itself. Thus, it's approach to the consumption of intoxicants has reflected that reality. 

Alcohol, as well as items such as marijuana (cannabis) and tobacco products generally, although deemed largely socially acceptable, are known to create physical and financial harm. A NEW YORK TIMES article has highlighted this regarding alcohol Even a Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health, Research Shows - The New York Times (nytimes.com)  

Tobacco use is very high, even among Muslims, many of whom have followed fatawaa arguing that it is not technically forbidden (haraam) but rather simply disliked (makrooh). Tobacco is both harmful and addictive, so much so that the manufacturers are required (by law) to list some of those harms on a pack of cigarettes and other products generally. A list of the harms provided by Mayo Clinic Nicotine dependence - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic makes the argument that the best treatment is to stop consuming such items. 

The Qur'an has said that intoxicants, defined as that which befogs the mind, has more harm than benefit (Q 2:219) and is a repugnant tool in Satan's hands (Q 5:90). This should be sufficient for us as an alert to abstain from such products, even in (seemingly) "harmless" scenarios. 

Gambling

Much of the above information on intoxicants can likewise be said of gambling. The AMERICAN PHYSCOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION How gambling affects the brain and who is most vulnerable to addiction (apa.org) has highlighted the problems associated with it, manifested in new avenues of gambling now available. 

The Quranic verses cited above also have a mention of gambling. It may seem like simply a fun game. but it has long term devastating effects. Qur'an (5:90) says that if we want success (in life), that activity, even with small amounts of money, must be discontinued. 

Financial victimization

Too often we are hearing of this problem, an issue which can no longer be ignored. The most common form people, (particularly the elderly,) are targeted is that an email, text or a direct message on social media will be received promising heavy financial incentive if they (the victim) agree to "hold" money allegedly found in some exotic location.  Once the victim gives their bank details, they end up losing their money, rather than gaining a profit. Some tips on avoiding this problem are found Reports of Nevada-based financial scams: How to protect yourself (8newsnow.com)

Variants of the same scam include threats via text messages or email or what is commonly called honey traps, in which a person (usually a false identity) will express romantic interest in the victim, create a bond via text or internet communication to the point where the scammer will express a need for financial help, a pattern that continues until the victim is literally drained of their resources. Older men (but also elderly women) are most targeted because of living alone, limited family interaction, and less likely to generate suspicion. Another aspect of this is that victims, once realizing the scope of the deception, are often unwilling to report to the authorities, out of embarrassment and shame.  The American Association of Retired Persons have published a very good summary ​Online Romance and Dating Scams: How to Spot a Scammer​ (aarp.org)

Islam has provided a number of tools to limit exposure to dangers posed by such situations. It tells us not to waste our wealth, neither are we to be stingy (Q 17: 26-27), it encourages us to pursue financial security, but not to make it the sole reason of life (Q 2:201, 28:77), not to use wealth for foolish purposes (Q 2:188).  If something is too good to be true, it usually is indeed an indication of fraud. The Islamic scriptures clearly is against theft and fraud of all kinds, even stating harsh penalty for such ( Q 5:38, 83:1-6 and many more), thus, we should not be the perpetrators of it either.

Black Magic

There is much which falls under the term black magic, but our usage of this term refers to a sort of open or hidden flirtation with the occult. We have addressed this topic in detail  Shamsuddin Waheed: THE INTERSECTION BETWEEN THE OCCULT AND HUMAN LIFE . 

Our view is that such activities, while acknowledging the high probability of fraud and mental health issues present, it is vital for people to stay away from such interest, even if abilities to enter into that realm (for whatever reason) is actually available, because it is entering into a realm that unleashes those forces that are actually beyond our ability to control. Indeed, we are to seek God's presence in these regards, his protection from the entities in that realm (The last 2 chapters of the Qur'an). 

Difficulties in finding a spouse.

This is a serious problem for Muslims in the United States. The concept of marriage (in an American context) is already a failing institution in society as a whole, with a whopping 40%-50% of marriages ending in divorce! For Muslims, the added problem is in finding suitable matches, because of unrealistic expectations, immaturity, cultural differences, or even self-sabotage. 

It is our view that some alterations in our approach is necessary to remedy this problem. In some environments and contexts, polygamy would have to resorted to. More realistic expectations on the part of men and women alike are likewise required. Entertaining the possibility of relationship outside of one's race or culture is another option. This can admittedly be problematic, but it can be even more problematic when (for example) a second-generation person is paired with a person from back home, having actually two different cultures (despite originating in the same place or sharing the same ethnicity).  Moreover, in situations where a wali (guardian, usually a male relative, looking out for the needs of the single female relative) is not available, it actually seems prudent that a woman may have to take the untraditional steps of seeking out a spouse for themselves. 

Tradition tells us that before nabuwwah, Muhammad was working as an employee of a rich widow named Khadijah. She was older and seemingly well off. It was she, may Allah be pleased with her, who proposed marriage to him. In other words, she expressed initial interest in him. 

Most (Muslim) men working in a professional environment have become accustomed to a behavior and ethic that will rarely pursue a relationship, out of fears of a hostile workplace, in respect to actual company policies, or worrying about harassment charges and the like.   Everyone's situation is unique, yet in any case women may need to take the example of Sayyidah Khadijah, Radee Allahu 'anhaa, who saw something of interest in Muhammad. She proposed to him, and he went on, by the grace and design of Allah (S.W.T.) to become the seal of the prophets, Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam.  Thus, it may be necessary for women to be direct in expressing interest when they encounter a potential spouse.  It is also important to learn the lessons of the Istikhaarah prayer  before seriously embarking on that journey.  See Shamsuddin Waheed: Reflections on Istikhaarah: the priorities of life

Toxic family/surroundings

Although now a vogue term, it is appropriate when describing those related by blood, yet are the most destructive. Abuse (both physical and emotional) is rampant, yet it is swept under the rug in the name of family honor. 

Family is arguably the most important social unit, particularly in Muslim cultures, second only to God, it is meant to be an incubator of love, loyalty and support. It can be reasonably stated that tribe is simply an extension of that network, but what happens when those traits are not present? 

Similarly, in a (so-called) religious circle, disagreements on theological points can lead to the most extreme conclusions, creating an environment of constant argumentation, or worse yet, when religion is actually used to justify toxicity, such as mentioned above. 

The Qur'an is actually very realistic in addressing this. It says " O believers! Indeed, some of your wives and your children are (actually) enemies to you, thus, be cautious of them"(Q 64:14).

The text actually mentions two more items, but the first item is to be cautious (fa-ahdharhum). This is intentionally vague, in the sense that it clearly allows the reader to figure that out for themselves what "taking caution" means. If family members or so called "friends" and "religious circles" are actually detremintal to your development (for whatever reason), a person (particularly one who has been victimized) had the right to seek out means for protection. If that means to stay away from such environments, limit contact and the like, so be it! The text goes on to say "If you pardon" (wa in ta'foo), meaning that you can understand the situation and chose to pardon, but still take precautions. If a drug addicted relative stole from you, you can chose to forgive, but in the future you would naturally be more careful regarding leaving your valuables in the open! Next, it states "Overlook" (wa Tas-fahoo), to be forbearing, to a point. 

یٰۤاَیُّہَا الَّذِیۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡۤا اِنَّ مِنۡ اَزۡوَاجِکُمۡ وَاَوۡلَادِکُمۡ عَدُوًّا لَّکُمۡ فَاحۡذَرُوۡہُمۡ ۚ وَاِنۡ تَعۡفُوۡا وَتَصۡفَحُوۡا وَتَغۡفِرُوۡا فَاِنَّ اللّٰہَ غَفُوۡرٌ رَّحِیۡمٌ

I understand Q 64:14 as giving choices rather than a sequential mode of action. In other words, a person facing those serious toxic surroundings is being given by Allah options to exercise as the person finds applicable. In these regards, I am actually taking a lead from the views of the great jurist Imam Abu Hanifah (d. 767), who made the same argument regarding Q 4:34. 

The Qur'an (Q 9:107) mentions that an imitation "mosque" set up by hypocrites, those who were actually involved in schemes against the Prophet (upon whom be peace). The Qur'anic revelation instructs the Prophet and the believers generally not to step into such a place, to not stand for prayers in such an environment, as it is better to be in an environment built upon good intentions and a desire for purity and growth (Q 9:108). 

Thus, be it in a "religious" or familial setting, Islam is clearly stating that we have the right to be in places and surroundings that are conducive for our growth, and that we have the right to make those judgements for ourselves and to take actions to have both personal and spiritual security. 

Emotional health

Much of the above can be connected to this issue as well, and while I am not going to comment on medicines prescribed by an authorized professional, I will say that emotional health has strong connections to correct beliefs and spiritual foundation. An authentic spirituality will provide strength in trying times. 

We have consistently taught that the Qur'anic recitation (particularly of verses that contain words of affirmation), five daily prayers, payment of charity and the like are tools to maintain one's health, but we cannot deny the need to add physical exercise in places where natural beauty is present, occasional entertainment that generates good feelings, and other such activities. More tips are given Shamsuddin Waheed: Mental & Spiritual Heath: An Islamic Perspective

 It is worth noting that modern life itself produces the foundations for emotional or mental health problems. Issues of poverty, housing, and financial instability are all by-products of a world order which has taught capitalism and individualism, when in reality these are very destructive. Thus, addressing those issues are also helpful in building up one's emotional health.   Wa Billaahit Tawfeeq.

A clarification on the account of Zaynab and Prophet Muhammad

 Introduction

Among the pitfalls of historical examination is that of misunderstandings created by either  well-meaning people, or through   blatant misrepresentations of the lives and actions of important personalities. While this is a situation most regrettable in the religious realm, this certainly happens in the secular world as well.

This can happen in the lifetime of that figure, but it becomes harder to correct after the death of that figure. There are a number of examples I can think of, wherein I had accepted as historically valid a particular "fact", only to be corrected upon encountering a sounder bit of information from reliable sources. 

While this process of acceptance and rejection can be subjective, and certainly occurs in almost every field of study, some assertions deserve to be rejected automatically as ridiculous attributions! Among such claims is that having to do with the marriage of Zaynab, Radee Allahu 'anhaa, to the Prophet Muhammad, Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

The claim in question is summarized as follows: Zaynab bint Jahsh, married to the Prophet's (adopted) son Zayd Ibn Al-Haarithah, was an exceedingly beautiful woman, and when this was noticed by the Prophet, he took actions to break up that marriage to have her for himself. Critics assert everything from seduction to incest in this scenario.

It will be demonstrated in this composition, supported by historical analysis, logic and Quranic references, that such an assertion is simply unfounded. It is our hope that this article answers this particular claim, to benefit Muslim and Non-Muslim readers alike. 

Who was Zaynab?

Zaynab bint Jahsh was actually a cousin to the Prophet. As such, she would have been well-known to the Prophet through her life. The reports around her suggest that she had a sort of aristocratic upbringing and world-view, even after she accepted the message of the Prophet Muhammad. 

Who was Zayd?

Zayd Ibn Al Haarithah was an ex-slave, who eventually became the adopted son of the Prophet Muhammad (before the Prophethood). He was known to have deep respect and loyalty to the Prophet, to the point where his actual family came looking for him, and he (Zayd) prefered to stay with his adopted father. He was known as "Zayd ibn Muhammad" (Zaid, son of Muhammad).

As an ex-slave, he would have come from a lower or despised part of society. 

What was the Prophet's agenda?

We have to remember that according to all the reports, it was the Prophet himself who pushed for a marriage between Zayd and Zaynab to take place. The reports assert that Zaynab was reluctant, yet it ultimately happened. 

The Prophet's agenda here is addressing social divisions and class warfare. He initiated a number of actions towards greater social cohesion. In Madinah, he created "pacts of brotherhood" between members of varying tribes and classes, which proved to be very successful. His message was that of unity and breaking down harmful divisions. Even in the ritual prayer (salaah), the emphasis on being closely together is given. He is reported to have said " Establish the rows, shoulder to shoulder, close gaps, be accommodating to your brothers, and leave no breaches for the devil.." (Sunan Abu Dawud 666, reported by Ibn 'Umar)(ft.1).

The Qur'anic revelation itself is the foundation for his many actions, for the sake of brevity we cite only a few  examples:

" And among His (i.e. God's) signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the diversity of your tongues and colors, indeed, in that are signs for those of knowledge." (Q 30:21)

"O Humanity. Indeed, WE (God) created you from a male and female, made you into peoples and groupings, so that you will know (each other)(ft.2), Indeed, the most honorable of you in Allah's sight are those with the most taqwaa(ft.3)  in your midst, Indeed, Allah is knowing, aware" (Q 49:13)

"And marry those among you who are single, and righteous, be they among your male or female servants. If they are poor, Allah will give them from his bounty, and Allah is expansive, full of knowledge ('Aleem)" (Q 24:32)

The breakdown of the relationship between Zayd and Zaynab

It is well-established from the sources that the marriage broke down. It can be described as irreconcilable differences. In fact, it is said that Zaynab herself said she could not even bear to look at Zayd, and agreed to return the dowry paid to her by Zayd, thus ending the relationship.

What happens to Zaynab as a divorcee?

Anyone with knowledge of Arab society, both in the past and present, can testify to the hardships a divorced woman will experience. Subsequent marriage was very difficult, if not impossible. Social stigmas are attached.  

The Qur'an itself states that the Prophet had tried to save the relationship between the two (Q 33:37), but those efforts failed.  It was after that that the Prophet did marry her. 

The context of this section of Soorah Al Ahzaab shows that there was a Divine wisdom in this entire saga, which shall be explored in the sections below.

Adoption reformation

As previously mentioned, Arabian society viewed adopted children with the same lenses as biological children. While adoption, particularly of orphans, is a praiseworthy action, shown by a plethora of Quranic texts and statements of the Prophet, the actual lineage of the adopted parties must be preserved (if known) as much as possible. With the advent of DNA testing technology, this is a task made much easier. 

Q 33:5 states "Call them by (the names of ) their fathers.." Also see verse 4, 36 and 37. Islam asks that the family line, the biological ties, be preserved. As a side note, some of the salafi writers have used this argument to speak against the common practice among Western Muslims (converts to Islam from Non Muslim backrounds) of changing names to traditional Muslim names(ft.4).

The particular relevance to the Prophet's status

In this chapter we have the famous text declaring the Prophet Muhammad as the seal of the Prophets. It is important to note context as well as precision of words. 

"Muhammad is not the father of any of your males, rather, he is God's messenger, and the seal of the Prophets. And Allah has knowledge of all things." (Q 33:40).

This shows us that marriage with Zaynab has three main benefits: {a) It demonstrates that the adoption reformation has taken place, placing emphasis on  the preservation of the biological family line. (b) It removes a social stigma that was present with marriage with a divorcee. (c) It shows us that there will be no prophetic successor to Muhammad. Thus, Zayd is no longer to be called "The son of Muhammad". Indeed, the Prophet's actual biological sons died in their toddler stages. 

The latter is the most important in the Divine wisdom. While reformers and great teachers can always emerge, we are taught that the doors of Nabuwwah and scriptural revelation have come to an end, demonstrated by Q 33:40.

Concluding thoughts?

The notion that Prophet Muhammad was so in love with Zaynab that he had to create false pretexts to be with her falls flat on its face when we examine the scriptural and historical evidence. Indeed, Karen Armstrong (a Non- Muslim religious scholar) has argued that not only had the Prophet always known Zaynab, but that whatever beauty there had been would have eliminated during the Makkan boycott in the previous period, a time in which Muslims were suffering starvation. 

The story that appears in some Muslim sources (that he saw her at her home in some state of undress) is more akin to the Biblical account of David (2 Samuel 11:2) has to be dismissed as fabricated. 

There is great wisdom in what actually happened with Zaynab, Zayd and the Messenger of God, and such hikmah is seen when studied deeply.

May Allah be pleased with those who were close and faithful to the Prophet, and may Allah's peace and blessings be on all of the Prophets and messengers. 

Footnotes

(1) The Hanafi school has a more nuanced understanding of the text mentioned here, as well as the subsequent discussions on standing "foot-to-foot, shoulder to shoulder" in prayers. We have seen problems between Hanafis and Non Hanafis, the latter sometimes taking the reluctance of their Hanafi brothers to stand foot to foot as demonstrations of racism (in an American context). This issue is actually a Fiqhi difference and stems from a different understanding of the texts that surround these practices within Salaah. For a glance at this issue, please see Maulana Abdul Rahman Ibn Yusuf's article at the following link. .See here

(2) The term here is Li'ta'aarafoo, "in order to come to know" This refers to benefiting from other communities of humans, adding to the diversity of existence. This can be found in food, music, philosophy, fashion, and countless other examples. In other words, God is saying he made us intentionally different as a means for us to learn from each other. 

(3) Taqwaa is a rich word whose meaning depends on context. Here, awareness of God and other people is the appropriate rendering.

(4) While the salafi position is understandable, I think that in a Western context, changing names is reflective of wanting a new life. In addition to this, the names African Americans typically carry are names given by the slave masters of generations past. Coming into Islam is a means to create a unique identity divorced from the past social crimes. It should be noted that Islam does NOT command changing names, unless the name carries a bad meaning. Thus, the hadeeth literature mentions that the Prophet changed someone named "war" (Harb) to "Calm" (Saleem), and "Ugly" (Qabeeh) to "handsome" (Jameel).

The role of men in Islam: Some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

                   The role of men in Islam: some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

 

Introduction

 

While there have always been cultural differences between groups, a certain amount of uniformity existed amongst all, particularly when it comes to the biological and social functions of men and women. Men would be deemed the de facto head of the households, and women would carry responsibilities within the family.

 

This has certainly changed, not only in the West, but increasingly around the world. The reasons and general implications of these changes are beyond the scope of this presentation, nonetheless it is prudent to address some commonly asked questions from an Islamic perspective. I am cognizant that the following views are debatable, and I welcome respectful dialogue. I would also like to point out that this article does not endorse any actions or attitudes that bring forth familial and social disasters.

(1) Masculine leadership

The need for organization is universally recognized. In fact, we have countless examples of it in nature. Bees are organized into Queens, workers and drones. The beehive itself is set up to maximize productivity and storage. The Qur’an (16:68) actually makes a reference to their cognitive abilities and their organizational activity, referring to it as products of Divine inspiration.

 

In a similar fashion, the Qur’an has mentioned what a healthy structure is supposed to look like:

“The Men are responsible (Qawwamoona ‘alaa)  for the maintenance of (their) ladies: in that God has consistently delivered those (abilities) over (the same to) others, and in that they (the men) spend of their means (amwaalihim)... “Q 4:34)

 

The above text mentions responsibilities and places emphasis on financial arrangements. These two items certainly translate into different things for different people, and admittedly can vary from era to age. The term Qawaamoon carries the meaning of holding up, on a regular basis, a healthy establishment.

 

This can take the form of protection, advice, and guidance from a more rational basis. In terms of financial arrangements, ultimately this a guarantee of relative security, rather than a whimsical or temporary relationship.

(2) Polygamy

(1 

 

Undoubtedly a sensitive topic for women, Islam has allowed it, as illustrated in the following text:

“So marry women of your choosing: two, three or four, yet if you fear inability to be just, then one (waahidah), or from malakat aymaanukum,(ft.1)  that is most suitable to prevent injustice” ( Q 4:3).

 

A reading of the context reveals that the idea is simply a form of protection for those who are isolated, alone, without families or familiar support (al yataamaa). The Qur’an has not been silent on social needs, this is a faith which recognizes the realities of the world.

 

(3)    Is there any physical disciplining allowed in Islam?  

 

 

This topic deserves a great deal of analysis, as there are many misconceptions on this. The Qur’an summarizes the wife’s duty as “guarding what God would have them guard..” which is understood to include family wealth, private information as well as (most importantly) intimate relations. It says further that when there is risk of the above being violated, the husband is to (a) inform her tactfully (fa’idhoo-hunna),  (b) sleep separately ( ihjurununna fil madaaji’i) , and (c)  take a physical step (idribuhunna).

 

The “physical step” has been given in the Prophetic Sunnah as NOT domestic abuse, but rather showing displeasure by using- for an example- a tooth brush (Miswak). Moreover, we are told directly in the hadeeth literature (saheeh Muslim 2328) that Prophet Muhammad never hit a woman.

 

Moreover, the term idrib has a plethora of alternative meanings, both in the Qur’an itself as well as usages in Arabic, including to leave, to propose/explain (ft.2) . This has led many to suggest that the meaning is simply for the man to depart from the relationship in which the woman has showed disrespect of the basic duties (Nushooz).

 

Most have understood a-c above as the sequence of steps to take to resolve the negative situation, while the great jurist Imam Abu Hanifa (d. 767 C.E.) has taken the above as choices, rather than sequential steps.

 

There is some guidance on this aspect from the traditions of the Prophet that relate to other matters. He has categorically stated that the faces should not be struck, and that believers are not to bring harm to each other. Thus, putting all of this together, it seems to be suggesting that in those times that harmony is needed, that the healthy, mature husband is to take action to safeguard the family, to use an analogy, to push a person out of the way of an incoming vehicle, as a means to save their life.

 

This should never translate into domestic violence, abuse or harm of any type, as such would be inconsistent with Islamic values.

(4)    Dress

 

Men and women are both expected to dress with decorum and modestly in public. The precise clothing varies according to personal and cultural/environmental tastes. For more details, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Just what is allowed and not allowed in Islam? Addressing some commonly asked questions

at this link

 

(5)    Equality between men and women

 

 

The Qur’an certainly says that there are ways in which men and women are different, including that of physical strength. This is the typical pattern in human beings. 

However, in the most important areas, we clearly see a spiritual equality, in the sense that both genders are equal in the sight of Allah. The Qur’an says “VERILY, for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all truly devout men and truly devout women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves [before God], and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for [all of] them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward.” (Q 33:35 Muhammad Asad translation)

 

The Qur’an also states that both have a chance of paradise of hellfire, contingent upon their thinking process and actions ( Q 33:73).

Footnotes

(1) The concept of milk-ul-yameen has traditionally been understood as sexual slavery: we reject that assertion, in light of Quranic evidence, for which, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Does Islam sanction slavery?  see link here

(2) For other Quranic examples, see 4:101, 3:156, 14:24, 25 and other verses.