Dealing with Dreams

 Introduction

Recently, a person told me of a dream in which centered around me. This would not be noteworthy, except that the person shared information that they would have no access to, information not available to them by any means, including an exact description of yet another person that would likewise be unavailable to the dreamer. While I have no intention of sharing the content of that dream, it did prompt me to look at information from the primary Islamic sources on this phenomenon

This post does not present itself as authoritative, merely as some fresh observations and reflections on the Islamic texts.

Can dreams really be from God?

The answer to this is a clear affirmation. The Qur'an directly provides examples wherein Allah Soobhaanahu wa ta'alaa has communicated via dreams to Prophets, Non-Prophets, believers and even disbelievers. 

It mentions how God delivered to Joseph (Yusuf, 'alayhis salaam) a vision in which the heavenly bodies prostrate before him, and when he informs his father Jacob (Ya'qub 'alayhis salaam), the latter advises him to be this experience a secret from his own family (Q 12:5-7). The same Quranic chapter tells us of two (seemingly non-believing, at least initially) prisoners having dreams (which Joseph interprets) and of the ruler of Egypt having a vivid dream, the former asks Joseph for his interpretation, and such interpretation actually ended up saving Egypt from the extremes of famine (Q 12:12:36-42 and also see 12:43-50, also see 53-57)

Can dreams be just a product of an active mind, stress and the like?

This is also within the realm of possibility. There is a wealth of research and anecdotal evidence to show that the content of dreams can be influenced by such things as background noise, watching television or one's electronic device, and even meals before bed (ft.1.) Stress is another added factor to this equation, in that the stressful matters that are on one's mind can carry themselves into your sleep, manifesting through dreams while asleep(ft.2).

Are there ways to distinguish between Divinely inspired visions and dreams that are "unimportant"?

This is a difficult query; however, it seems logical that if God does in fact send communication via a dream, that the "end conclusion" or "inspiration" would be something good and beneficial, especially for the wider society. There have been people who have had dreams which pushed them to engage in activities whose benefit outlived even themselves. The founder of the Tablighi Jamaa'h movement (ft.3), Maulana Ilyas Kandhlawi (popularly known as Maulana Muhammad Ilyas) is said to have started his efforts as a result of a dream. 

For "unimportant" dreams, it seems that such would be product of any mental influences, and even if remembered for a long time, would have no impact on one's life. 

Dreams as a part of prophethood

As Muslims, we believe the doors of prophethood, and scripture has been closed with Muhammad- Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam- and the Qur'an. Yet, it has been recognized almost universally that dreams and visions can be directed to blessed individuals from Allah. It is the Prophet Muhammad who is reported to have said that "nothing remains of nabuwwat except 'al mubashshiraat'(Good news). They (companions) said "and what is "good news". He replied "The correct dream" (Ar-Ru-yaa As-saalehat). (Saheeh Al Bukharee 91:9). Yet another narration asserts that "the vision of a believer is one of the forty-six parts of prophethood." ( Saheeh Al Bukharee 92:4).

The meaning of this (which appears to have support from the Qur'an) (ft.4) seems to be that for believers in general, they are provided access to a divine support and inspiration that has the qualities of nabuwwah- in the sense that the impact of such support is profound, with long term good impact, while actually not having any function of nabuwwah, since Allah has decreed that nabuwwah concludes with the mercy to all nations, Muhammad ibn 'Abdullah, upon whom be peace and blessings. 

Can Satan inspire bad visions?

The Qur'an depicts Satan as a cunning whisperer, a behind-the-scenes influencer, who even attacks humans (his prey) from all directions (see Q 11:16-17). In light of that description, it is reasonable that Satan would plant the seeds of destruction under the guise of a vision or would- conversely- (and more commonly) use our own negative thoughts, suspicions and anxieties as a means to derail us-in the name of "good sense" or "sincere advice". 

An account attributed to the Sufi figure 'Abdul-Qaadir Al Jilani (d.1166) is quite telling: He was praying, and a voice comes to him proclaiming: "I am your Lord, I make lawful to you that I have made unlawful to others". Al-Jilani asks if this is God (Allah). The voice only says, "I am your Lord". Al-Jilani replies "I know this is Satan". The voice confirms this and asks how was he (Satan) recognized? Al-Jilani replies that (a) You never identified yourself as God. (b) God would not make lawful for me what he made unlawful for others. The voice, now identified as Satan, asserts that through that trick (of a sort of spiritual hijacking) He had been able to fool thousands of people. 

Sleep hygiene

The stresses of the coronavirus era produced an acute awareness of obscure health issues, including popularizing the term sleep hygiene, which refers to actions such as a dark room, no lights, no phones nearby during sleep and the like, but- in keeping with well-known prophetic traditions, it is important that when one sleeps, one makes a habit of reciting Qur'anic texts or supplication (du'aa). My normative practice is reciting the expression "None deserves worship except God, Oh Allah, in your name do I die and live" (Laa elaaha ill-Allah, Allaahumma Bismika Amootu wa ahyaa') as well as Ayatul Kursiyy (Qur'an 2:255).

The fact that we have the above (and some other practices) from the Islamic sources is indicative that we are at our most vulnerable, physically and spiritually, during sleep. There is a level of protection and safety needed to not only sleep, but to be protected from Satan. 

When others have dreams about you

The inspiration for this article was a person having a very detailed dream about me and my life, with information that could not have been known to that person. Disturbed at first, it occurred to me that perhaps Allah was conveying-through this person- some information or insight that I really needed to hear. 

When others have a dream about you, and they share it, it is possible that the dream occurs as a product of the subconscious, that somehow, especially after a long time of distance, the person dreams about you, indicating unconscious thoughts. Dreams in which specific authentic details are present, especially private information that, I think, should be taken seriously. The dreamer's interpretation is important to take heed of, but also your (if you are the object or make appearance in that person's dream) own understanding. It may take time to think about, but in light of the Islamic texts, it is possible that it is indeed God conveying some important indicators of guidance. 

The Islamic tradition has some words of advice, including that a person's dream (if shared with a dream interpreter) should not become the source of gossip, and that overly negative dreams should not be shared in public!

Many Muslims claim to have dreams of the Prophet-that he (the Prophet) instructs this or that, and we have a tradition stating that Satan cannot take on the Prophet's form. While this tradition may in fact be true, for modern people it does not provide that much assistance because we don't actually have a photograph of him. Perhaps the best thing to do, if we do have a dream and get the feeling that the Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) is in it, communicating with us, is to analyze the message, if it has inspiration of a good message and does not contradict what we know for certain ('ilmal yaqeen) from the Qur'an and Prophetic model, we can take something good out of that experience. Otherwise, if it goes against what we have sure knowledge of, we will have to see the possibility of Satan's hand in it.

Dreams as expressions of delusional thinking

This is also a possibility, particularly lucid dreams as a side-effect of illness or medicine. Narcissistic people can also fool themselves, justifying their own actions via delusional expressions. If a person reports an experience that is "delusional", understand that that "delusion" has very little to do with you. We all have life experiences and interpretations of events that not only vary but are -by their nature-subjective. 

It may be prudent to limit what one says in public regarding dreams, but also spiritual experiences in general. We are all on different levels of faith, practice and understanding. Spirituality is a deep field, a person can have a rich inner life which is misunderstood by others, even by the clerical class. 

It is important to have a clean life, devoid of intoxicants and sinful behavior, and to be consistent in asking God for protection from being deluded. Before reading Qur'an itself, we say "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the rejected enemy" (A 'oodhuu billaahi minash-shaytaanir rajeem). Another supplication reads "God, show us truth as truth, and give us the ability to follow it, and show us falsehood as falsehood, and give us the ability to abstain therefrom." Goodly company, even wholistic food, is also a necessity in terms of avoiding the pitfalls of delusions, as delusions can bring forth unnecessary destruction. 

Footnotes

(1) See  Food's Impact on Dreams - Sleep Academy for a brief discussion on influence of food for dreams. 

(2) For the influence of stress on dreams, see Stress Dreams: Causes and Prevention Tips (psychcentral.com)

(3) The Tablighi Jama'at (TJ) was founded in the Indian subcontinent in the 1920's with a strategy of combating Hindu influence on Muslims. They are famously apolitical, and practically function as a missionary, largely organic circle whose focus is on Muslims, thus, they visit Muslims in their homes, encourage participation in communal mosque prayers, etc. They have evolved to be a global trend, hosting events such as convention (ijtimaa') in Bangladesh which attracts millions every year.

(4) The Qur'an (42:51) says that God communicates through three primary ways, by "revelation" (wahy) or "from behind a veil" (min waraa-i hijaaban). The two ways highlighted here could be indicative of dreams, as "wahy" is sometimes used to indicate "true dreams". The primary usage of "wahy" is inspiration. Other words used for dreams include "Ru'yaa" (this is the main Quranic term) and "Ahlam". 

MM: some masaa-il of marriage

 Introduction

The institution of marriage is important for social cohesion, a fact almost universally accepted. It's role in Islam on a spiritual level is given in many Quranic verses and statements of the Prophet (Sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam), one of which is the famous quote "marriage is half of one's religion" ( At-Tirmidhee 3096). This subject often generates frequently asked questions (FAQs)(ft.1), so, for public benefit, they shall be addressed below.

(#1) Are there any Islamic texts which summarize the functions of the marriage relationship?

 A number of Islamic texts provide us with information on marriage. The Qur'an (Q 4:1) asserts that God created man and woman, the ideal relationship generating love, mercy, and overall satisfaction in life (Q 30:21). Similarly, it beautifully asserts that men and women are created to function as "clothing" (libaas) for each other ( Q 2:187), understood for mental, emotional, physical and indeed spiritual support. While the above texts can be seen in an emotional context, it also speaks on the importance of justice (Q 4:3) within the relationship. Admittedly, the latter quote is in the context of men vis-a-vis women (in the sense of maintaining the rights of women, not subjecting them to abuse), yet it can reasonably be said to go both ways, if we factor in Q 9:71, which asserts that both genders are "allies" of each other in terms of their spirituality and communal obligations, that such awareness and mutual assistance generates rewards from Allah in paradise (9:72).  

The Qur'an has placed this institution as something which brings forth social protections for the vulnerable as well (Q 4:3, 24:31, among other places).

(#2) How to find a suitable partner?

This is a difficult question, in light of societal and cultural expectations, which of course vary from place to place and time to time. While in the Muslim world there is family involvement (even to the extent of "arranged marriages"), for some, especially in Western environments, this could be untenable. The last two decades has seen the emergence of online dating as something that is now widely acceptable, however that can also be dangerous. 

In short, since the texts do not give us a step-by-step methodology, whatever halal (lawful) options available in our unique circumstances should be employed. Admittedly, we all have our differing comfort levels.

(#3) Can marriage occur outside of one's culture?

There are no restrictions on interracial/intercultural marriages present in the Qur'an and Sunnah. It is true that many scholars assert that a condition of marriage is comparable status (known by the technical term Kafaa'ah), but at the end of the day even that is more of some advice, rather than a ruling from the Islamic texts.

(#4) The role of Wali, and can a woman marry without his consent?

The Wali or Wakeel functions as a guardian, looking out for the best interests of the woman. Usually it is the father, brother or some other male relative, who will look for a spouse for the woman, to limit mistakes. Almost all societies-regardless of culture and religion- had this concept at some level.

Three of the four Sunni jurisprudential schools assert that the wali's consent is needed in order for the woman to get married. The Hanafi school argues that if the woman is mature and intelligent (Baalighah & Raashidah), there is no need for a wali's presence or consent. In practice, there is also a bit of a relaxed attitude on this point when the woman is a widow, divorcee, with life experiences, because it is expected that she knows what she wants and is comfortable with things. 

It is the Hanafi viewpoint which makes the most sense to this writer in a Western context, but I can also see the logic of the majority, when we consider that traditionally females marry young, without life experiences and particular expectations, as well as being more prone to misguidance and emotional manipulation. 

(#5) Should divorce be the immediate response to problems?

While divorce is legal in Islam, it should not be the immediate reply to relationship issues. Indeed, the Qur'an itself asserts that efforts are to be made- with an arbiter from each side- to solve the issues (Q 4:35). Emotions play a great hand in relationships of this nature, which is why expressions of talaq (divorce) are considered invalid when given during a woman's menstruation period(ft.#2)

(#6) Can a woman initiate divorce in Islam?

Within certain limits a woman can set forth a request for divorce, and-in summary- legitimate reasons include abandonment of the religion, outright abuse, gross neglect. The process of khul' would take place, in which a woman simply returns the dowry given to her husband. There is also, of course, divorce by mutual agreement.

(#7) Does a man have a veto power insofar as divorce?

The husband has more authority insofar as issues of divorce are concerned. Thus, it is relatively easy for a man to initiate divorce and is not necessarily obligated to grant divorce. While it can be argued this is patriarchy in action, I would say that it is a means to limit destruction and chaos based on emotion. 

Undoubtedly emotional mistakes can be made by both genders; however, men are not prone to the same sort of emotional output (and the consequences thereof) women experience. 

Moreover, it cannot be ignored that the Qur'an puts financial support in the field of the man, and that as a consequence exercise more authority than women. (Q 4:34). Under those circumstances, it would be natural for man to have a sort of (limited) veto power. Of course, in situations where the man is unreasonable, the woman can go to the Qadi (judge, divorce court in Muslim nation) or relevant body to, in a sense, force a divorce, however that would have to be for extreme circumstances. 

(#8) What does reconciliation look like?

Quite simply, even if a couple agree on a divorce, it can be revoked anytime within 4 months of its pronouncement by reuniting (jimaa').  There is a recognition that relationship dynamics are often fluid, emotions give way to intelligence and vice-versa. While I don't intend to go into much detail here (and there are details in the Qur'an itself), the short end of it is that there is more room for reconciliation than what is often believed. 

(#9) Are divorce decrees issued by non-Muslim courts valid?

This is a very complex question, made even more complicated by the fact that for many Muslim nations, a divorce decree from a non-Muslim country is not even considered, causing significant legal confusion for all involved parties(ft.3). 

Our view, in light of the fact that Imams and mosques in the West have no authority to impose decisions, nor ability to investigate properly the claims made by disputing couples, is that the court, in non-Muslim nations, with legal mechanisms, signed documents in the presence of witnesses, etc. overall fulfills the requirements given within the Islamic tradition. Of course, this may not always be the case, keeping in mind that the Islamic system has built-in devices meant to encourage reconciliation and stability.

(#10) Dowry

The dowry (mahr) is whatever is agreed to by the parties. It can even be symbolic. 

(#11) Wedding ceremony (Nikaah).

The normative fashion is that a minimum of two witnesses are required, a ceremony in which the parties are reminded of their responsibilities, and a clear acceptance of those responsibilities.  The Hanbali school has within it a view that even witnesses are not required, only publicizing the relationship is required (i'laan in technical jargon).

In our view, the normative fashion for nikaah is best, as it has more clarity and removes ambiguity. The cultural aspects of weddings vary from place to community, and while there are obvious financial difficulties in those, the religious aspects are very easy, and it is important to keep to the Prophetic guidance to make marriage easy.

Footnotes

(1) The term Masaa-il (sing, Mas-alah) is used for questions requiring an Islamic reply. Often books of Fiqh are replete with this FAQs format.

(2) The modern world tends to ignore and downplay the role of emotions, particularly in women, leading to unnecessary destruction of relationships. A Stanford Medicine Magazine article articulates very well that the minds of males and females have signifigant differences, for which see How men's and women's brains are different | Stanford Medicine

(3) A common situation is when a woman divorced in the US Legal system wants to either remarry or in some way totally break herself from the previous life, facing difficulties in her country of origin.