The role of men in Islam: Some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

                   The role of men in Islam: some reflections on commonly asked questions

 

 

Introduction

 

While there have always been cultural differences between groups, a certain amount of uniformity existed amongst all, particularly when it comes to the biological and social functions of men and women. Men would be deemed the de facto head of the households, and women would carry responsibilities within the family.

 

This has certainly changed, not only in the West, but increasingly around the world. The reasons and general implications of these changes are beyond the scope of this presentation, nonetheless it is prudent to address some commonly asked questions from an Islamic perspective. I am cognizant that the following views are debatable, and I welcome respectful dialogue. I would also like to point out that this article does not endorse any actions or attitudes that bring forth familial and social disasters.

(1) Masculine leadership

The need for organization is universally recognized. In fact, we have countless examples of it in nature. Bees are organized into Queens, workers and drones. The beehive itself is set up to maximize productivity and storage. The Qur’an (16:68) actually makes a reference to their cognitive abilities and their organizational activity, referring to it as products of Divine inspiration.

 

In a similar fashion, the Qur’an has mentioned what a healthy structure is supposed to look like:

“The Men are responsible (Qawwamoona ‘alaa)  for the maintenance of (their) ladies: in that God has consistently delivered those (abilities) over (the same to) others, and in that they (the men) spend of their means (amwaalihim)... “Q 4:34)

 

The above text mentions responsibilities and places emphasis on financial arrangements. These two items certainly translate into different things for different people, and admittedly can vary from era to age. The term Qawaamoon carries the meaning of holding up, on a regular basis, a healthy establishment.

 

This can take the form of protection, advice, and guidance from a more rational basis. In terms of financial arrangements, ultimately this a guarantee of relative security, rather than a whimsical or temporary relationship.

(2) Polygamy

(1 

 

Undoubtedly a sensitive topic for women, Islam has allowed it, as illustrated in the following text:

“So marry women of your choosing: two, three or four, yet if you fear inability to be just, then one (waahidah), or from malakat aymaanukum,(ft.1)  that is most suitable to prevent injustice” ( Q 4:3).

 

A reading of the context reveals that the idea is simply a form of protection for those who are isolated, alone, without families or familiar support (al yataamaa). The Qur’an has not been silent on social needs, this is a faith which recognizes the realities of the world.

 

(3)    Is there any physical disciplining allowed in Islam?  

 

 

This topic deserves a great deal of analysis, as there are many misconceptions on this. The Qur’an summarizes the wife’s duty as “guarding what God would have them guard..” which is understood to include family wealth, private information as well as (most importantly) intimate relations. It says further that when there is risk of the above being violated, the husband is to (a) inform her tactfully (fa’idhoo-hunna),  (b) sleep separately ( ihjurununna fil madaaji’i) , and (c)  take a physical step (idribuhunna).

 

The “physical step” has been given in the Prophetic Sunnah as NOT domestic abuse, but rather showing displeasure by using- for an example- a tooth brush (Miswak). Moreover, we are told directly in the hadeeth literature (saheeh Muslim 2328) that Prophet Muhammad never hit a woman.

 

Moreover, the term idrib has a plethora of alternative meanings, both in the Qur’an itself as well as usages in Arabic, including to leave, to propose/explain (ft.2) . This has led many to suggest that the meaning is simply for the man to depart from the relationship in which the woman has showed disrespect of the basic duties (Nushooz).

 

Most have understood a-c above as the sequence of steps to take to resolve the negative situation, while the great jurist Imam Abu Hanifa (d. 767 C.E.) has taken the above as choices, rather than sequential steps.

 

There is some guidance on this aspect from the traditions of the Prophet that relate to other matters. He has categorically stated that the faces should not be struck, and that believers are not to bring harm to each other. Thus, putting all of this together, it seems to be suggesting that in those times that harmony is needed, that the healthy, mature husband is to take action to safeguard the family, to use an analogy, to push a person out of the way of an incoming vehicle, as a means to save their life.

 

This should never translate into domestic violence, abuse or harm of any type, as such would be inconsistent with Islamic values.

(4)    Dress

 

Men and women are both expected to dress with decorum and modestly in public. The precise clothing varies according to personal and cultural/environmental tastes. For more details, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Just what is allowed and not allowed in Islam? Addressing some commonly asked questions

at this link

 

(5)    Equality between men and women

 

 

The Qur’an certainly says that there are ways in which men and women are different, including that of physical strength. This is the typical pattern in human beings. 

However, in the most important areas, we clearly see a spiritual equality, in the sense that both genders are equal in the sight of Allah. The Qur’an says “VERILY, for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all truly devout men and truly devout women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves [before God], and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for [all of] them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward.” (Q 33:35 Muhammad Asad translation)

 

The Qur’an also states that both have a chance of paradise of hellfire, contingent upon their thinking process and actions ( Q 33:73).

Footnotes

(1) The concept of milk-ul-yameen has traditionally been understood as sexual slavery: we reject that assertion, in light of Quranic evidence, for which, see Shamsuddin Waheed: Does Islam sanction slavery?  see link here

(2) For other Quranic examples, see 4:101, 3:156, 14:24, 25 and other verses.