Introduction
There are a number of issues that, while seemingly academic in the Muslim world, have real life implications in the wider global scene. Among those issues is that of praying for Non Muslims, both alive or dead. A related issue would be the question of giving Zakaat (The mandatory charity) to Non Muslim recipients.
This issue of praying for Non Muslims is raised in the West due to mutual interactions and interests, where there is a greater chance of viewing the other in human terms (as opposed to a limiting label). Online debates were in full force upon the death of Chadwick Boseman,( star in Black Panther) which saw some Muslims offering their condolences, including using traditional religious expressions such as "From God we come, to him is our return".
There are texts typically cited in support of the notion that we are forbidden by religion from offering supplication on behalf of Non Muslims. Those texts are examined below.
Prophet Ibrahim 'alayhis salaam (Abraham)
It
is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness
for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become
clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire.
And
the request of forgiveness of Abraham for his father was only because
of a promise he had made to him. But when it became apparent to Abraham
that his father was an enemy to Allah, he disassociated himself from
him. Indeed was Abraham compassionate and patient. (Qur'an 9:113-114, Saheeh International translation).
The above text is from the ninth chapter, which carries, among other names "Al-Baraa-ah", which means "disassociation". The Soorah itself is given during war context, according to all authorities. A treaty had been entered into between the Muslims and the Makkan opposition, the latter breaking it(ft.1).
The Makkans were generally related by blood or tribe to The Prophetصَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ as well as his followers, yet- at that time- that did not stop them from waging war upon the Muslims . This text reminds the Muslims that in battle context, one must be strong, that emotional manipulation should not be allowed, even from family members, if such members have an agenda against you.
This teaching is given voice elsewhere in the Qur'an:
" O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are
enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and
forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." ( Q 64:14, Saheeh international translation).
It should be noted that even though the ninth chapter is given within a war context, it does not address the Mushriks en masse. Q 9:4 asserts that the previously referenced treaty remains in force for those who did not break it, meaning that a strong stance need only be maintained with those who have expressed danger via their actions!
Abraham's exampleعَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ - - is given, in that his father had been a clear enemy, taking many actions to actually put Abraham in danger of losing his life. If a parent or another loved one actually takes steps to take your life, at a minimum, one must protect himself from clear and present danger. This is something which is widely understood in the modern world, in that "family" and "friends" can actually be the worse of enemies, for a variety of reasons. (ft.2)
Thus, there is a clear difference between belligerent foes and those in one's family/circle who, while maintaining a differing religious identity, do not have enmity.
Hadeeth reports
Other reports exist in the hadeeth literature which forbids, at some levels or another, invoking God on behalf of Non Muslims. However, the majority of those reports have been declared weak or even fabrications by such luminaries as Shaikh Akram Nadwi. Some of them are outright contrary to the Qur'anic usage, while others clearly do not assert what is claimed in their name.(ft.3) Some have- for example, asserted that it is forbidden to initiate salaam greetings with Non Muslims, and that if initiated by a Non Muslim, the Muslim should respond with "Peace for those who follow guidance."(As salaamu 'ala man it tab'a'a al hudaa) Yet, the Qur'an itself says that one should respond with a similar or better greeting when addressed (Q 4:86), as well as asserting that one should not assume that the one making greeting is not actually a believer (Q 4:94).
More evidence
The Qur'an calls Allah "The Caretaker of the Universe" (Q 1:2). That shows simply that Allah, the God of the Qur'an, of Muslims, and the world in general, cares for his creation, regardless of their particular label.
The same text allows marriage and consumption of food with huge segments of Non Muslim population ( Q 5:5). Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is referred to as a Mercy for all nations (Q 21:107), The Qur'an likewise tells Muslims to keep strong family ties with Non Muslim members ( Q 29:8), and tells us to be just with all, and not allow religious differences to drive us in the opposite direction ( Q 60:8-9).
Conclusion
It should be apparent that there is no harm in making supplication for those who do not believe as we do, be they dead or alive. Of course, Allah's response is his business, and He says he can respond with mercy or punishment, even for those who are deemed as 'evil'. (Q 3:129-130).
It should also be noted here that the Salaat Al Janaazah (funeral prayers) is a rite specific for Muslims. Quranic verses are recited therein, as well as supplications that are made by believing Muslims for believing Muslims, specific to particular Islamic theological assumptions. Thus, it is inappropriate for a Non Muslim to have that sort of funeral, just as it would be likewise a disrespect for a believing Muslim to be given a Christian funeral. This is more a matter of respect for one's religious life and identity, than it is an issue of conflict.(ft.4)
Notes
(1) The details of this are widely available, for which I would recommend The Life of Muhammad by Muhammad Husayn Haykal.
(2) All relationships have some level of review and renewal. Islam certainly calls for maintaining family ties, even with disbelieving family members, but it is likewise acknowledged in the Qur'an (64:14) that "enmity" can exist in one sense or another. The aforementioned text says to "take caution", leaving it up to individual evaluation how that takes place. The same can be said for narcissistic, manipulative and jealous individuals outside of blood ties. An interesting article on this subject, by psychotherapist Sharon Martin, can be found at https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2019/10/its-okay-to-cut-ties-with-toxic-family-members/ .
(3) The Prophetic tradition of saying "May Allah have mercy on you " (yarhamukumullaah) when a person sneezes is said to be altered when a Non Muslim sneezes to "May Allah guide you and rectify your condition", allegedly because it is forbidden to pray for "mercy" for a Non Muslim. Even supposing that report is true (although not mentioned in the saheehayn), it still is a supplication for the Non Muslim, and, moreover, that wording is also found in the practice of sneezing, i.e., The one who sneezes praises God, the one around them respond with the request for mercy for them, and the one who sneezed responds with "May Allah guide you and rectify your condition " (Yahdeekumullaah, wa yuslih baalakum).
(4) It is often asserted that Muslims cannot attend the funerals of Non Muslims, due to the latter having their own religious beliefs contrary to Islam. This has no support from Islamic texts, and would totally destroy mutual respect among family/friends of varying religious labels. This writer has attended many non Muslim funerals, and has never felt any qualms in doing so. On the question of what to do if-in that situation, feeling uncomfortable in the Non Muslim funeral rites (for example, a Catholic funeral in which the mark of the cross (known as "signing") is made, the Muslim can simply don't do that, or any action that they may feel is contrary to Islamic teachings.
These sort of social quagmires exist among Christian and Jewish communities as well, reaching vastly different conclusions. Rabbi Tovia Singer argues that Jews are allowed to pray in Muslim mosques but not even enter into a church https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moRM1YFdvyI , The Jehovah's Witnesses, likewise, forbid their members from even entering a Non J.W. worship site.
